Facebook Follies

I am just as addicted to facebook as the next person.  I love getting on there and reconnecting with old friends, leaving snarky comments and basically just keeping in touch with everyone in one swoop.  It's also great when I'm having a bad day and just need a virtual hug.  We all have those days.  So in all the time I've been on facebook I've noticed a pattern of certain people and their posts.  I'm going to list my top three worst facebook offenders.  You'll know them.  Everyone has at least one of these people haunting their friends list and you know you get just as annoyed as I do.  Or maybe I'm just crabby, either way...

1.  The Chronic Misspeller - I've been guilty of misspelling one, maybe two words in a post when I've been sleepy or otherwise distracted.  I'm not talking about that.  I'm talking about people who practically misspell every single word in their posts.  It gets to the point where I have to spend extra time just trying to decipher what they are trying to say.  It's like they are actually speaking another language.  This can also go hand in hand for people who use excessive "text slang".  ur, lol, l8r, brb, ogg, ttyl and it goes on and on and on.  I'm not claiming to be the best speller in the world, but I know that the word "was" is not spelled with a "z".  If these people are doing this on purpose (which I highly doubt) it's not cute, it's not funny and it makes me violent.  Get a dictionary.

2.  Debbie Downer - Once again, I have posted on occasion when I am having a bad day and need a hug...but...I don't do this everyday.  I don't even do this every week.  It's rare.  But there are some people out there who feel it is necessary that I know the mundane details of their sad little lives.  These people are not the every-once-in-a-while posters, they are the post-every-five-mintues-because-I-have-nothing-else-to-do posters.  Every post is somehow a variation of the following "Life sucks", "I'm done", "Bad day as usual" or "I wish I could run away" or even the "call out" which goes something like "I hate liars", "tell me to my face", or I 've even seen "My husband told me he wants a divorce".  Now I can understand needing to vent some feelings.  But when everything you post goes down the toilet and I need a Zanex just to read it, there's a problem.  I don't want to hear it.  Everyone has their problems and sometimes we choose to share, but I do not want to see something negative on my page from you every hour of every day.  Keep it to yourself.  And things like "divorce" need to stay private.  Do not plaster that crap all over facebook, I mean, seriously?

3.  Lovebirds - The complete opposite of "Debbie Downer" this person feels it necessary to share every little intimate detail of their relationship.  I'm happy for you that you have someone who makes you happy.  Post when you have a great date, when they do something special, when you get engaged, that's all fine!  I will gush with you.  But when you post excessively every day about how wonderful your man is, how sexy he is, what he said to you that day, what he did for you that day, well, quite frankly it makes me want to toss my cookies.  This one is especially annoying to me right now because I don't have the opportunity to do those things with my husband and, yes, I'm jealous.  But, even if my husband was home I would not be sharing that much information about our relationship.  I don't want to hear about the bubble bath you took together while sharing a bottle of wine!  Is nothing sacred?  Is it fair for me to dog these people who are just in love?  Maybe not, I didn't say I was entirely rational.  It's not their fault that my husband is not here and I am not blaming them but I'm highly emotional with a short fuse, so I don't really care if I offend you.  You are offending me.  Knock it off, lovebirds, and get a room.

Did I miss anyone?  My word gun is still loaded and my trigger finger is feeling itchy!  :)